Anxiety attacks – How this Ruined My Life plus How I Deal along with it Now

I experienced severely from anxiety plus depression for more compared to 30 years. It obtained worse during senior higher school, and even even worse later on, as even though it were deliberately aiming to make my life since miserable as possible. This particular is my story associated with great emotional pain, lengthy years of isolation, agony and utter hopelessness plus how I gradually discovered my solution of this particular dismal tunnel of lose hope and into the gentle of wisdom, joy plus great relief.
Along along with all of the difficulties one usually gets whenever growing up, the signs and symptoms of panic disorder plus not at first being aware of what they were, devastated the days at school plus ruined my concentration along with schoolwork. I would arrive home completely exhausted, discouraged and unable to concentrate on anything, especially research. I had fashioned a very restricted social life and simply no girlfriends. I suffered to get what seemed like permanently from social anxiety, isolation, severe acne, mysterious bodyweight reduction, and crippling major depression. I had formed an extreme detest of most types associated with team sports and experienced a very hard period trying to fit within anywhere. From grade college to high school, We suffered much hazing through others and far being rejected and “unrequited love” through members of the reverse sex I felt attracted to, resulting in the vicious cycle of carried on social anxiety, resentment associated with other’s popularity and achievement, and my overwhelming feeling of rejection, isolation plus alienation.
The suffering carried on through college (where We studied nutrition, psychology, astronomy and especially art) plus into my work many years. I could only discover jobs that were basic and stress free for example gardening, painting and renovator type projects. I lastly had a job having care of your workplace constructing with a garden plus fountain that required a lot continuous maintenance and assistance. I am still functioning there today.
Throughout the particular ’70s, ’80s and ’90s, I tried in vain to find the cause for my suffering by means of religions, doctors, psychiatrists, and so on. only to be significantly disappointed by their “its all in your head” diagnosis! It seemed SIGNIFICANTLY worse than just “anxiety neurosis” or maybe the particular later diagnosis of “anxiety disorder”! I couldn’t think it. I thought I actually either required heart condition, kidney failure, cancer, shots, tumors, diabetes, lead poisoning, mercury, DDT, or some kind of mixture of the above! A person mention the product plus, It felt like We had it! But, more than and over all the tests revealed nothing considerable or really significant, simply no toxins, no poisons, absolutely nothing that made sense or even was helpful.
I attempted counseling, Christianity, Christian plus Religious science, eastern beliefs, meditation, yoga, and good thinking for many many years, but still my issues only got worse. We started feeling more plus more just like the nutcase and a great candidate for insanity since more and more associated with my family and close friends offered me the “its all in your brain so snap out associated with it” insult-to-injury “treatment. inch Almost all of our acquaintances had no knowing or sympathy for our chronic problems so they will left me alone. I actually spent most of our time very much on your own and isolated. Being along with people scared me therefore much I often experienced to run to a good isolated, quiet room or even area where no individuals were around. I can not fill out any kind of forms or sign the name on my examine or credit card invoice in public areas due to the fact I would shake a lot of. Some of my signatures looked absolutely bizarre plus any forms filled away illegible. I went via hell just wanting to fill up out a simple work application.
Conversations would finish abruptly because I held losing a record associated with what I was heading to say next plus would have trouble recalling what the other individual said. I would have got to stop in middle sentence, because I can not complete it, ensuing in incredible embarrassment, one more anxiety attack, and sensation like an idiot. This particular mental block would usually happen at the most severe possible or critical time like when having in order to explain an extremely severe problem, during an immediate situation confrontation, or talking before a group associated with people, resulting in a good incredibly severe fear associated with public speaking and mingling of any kind. What ever it had been, whenever I needed it probably the most, I would have this the least!
Also we had many physical signs and symptoms too that drove me personally crazy. My heart held skipping beats, and/or speeding up and keeping awake through the night (especially if on Any kind of kind of medication), producing me think I has been having a heart assault. I might often have got horrible nightmares then wake up up terrified in the cold sweat and complete confusion. I would not really be able to rest again until five every morning. Then I might have to sleep most day long to make up for the nightly sleeping disorders and to cope along with the devastating stress, schwindel, and depression. I furthermore felt a great feeling of unworthiness, tiredness plus fatigue that drove me personally nuts whenever I required to get anything done. Costs would accumulate, and We could never get forward financially, regardless of exactly how hard I fought the particular overwhelming urge to rest all the time, specifically after eating. Greatly misinterpreted, I was considered simply by others as care-free, below the influence (even although I NEVER took anything), and a poor achiever roughly much “dead wood” when i was not able to support myself. Visualize all this happening whilst growing up and attempting to find my quite own place in the particular world!!
After a couple of massive anxiety attacks Within 1982, I became nearly permanently agoraphobic. In purchase to avoid terrible anxiety, I always had in order to stay within my nearby neighborhood or within the particular city limits. This concern was a disaster designed for dating, and so acquired to remain lonely. Since I grew older, I actually became more and a lot more angry and cynical regarding life. I might usually get so frustrated that will I would lose our temper and break details. I must have believed of one hundred different methods to end my lifestyle, so desperate was We to prevent the serious emotional pain, but has been too afraid to check anything. My life experienced like an indoor focus camp or hell upon earth. My severe bodyweight reduction trying to prevent foods I had been “allergic” as well even made me appearance like a concentration get away victim. Nothing I consumed would put on bodyweight anyway, it would simply go right on via, causing severe gas, bloatedness and diarrhea. Nothing within my life went right, not really really my digestion!!!
All through now (early 80’s in order to early 90’s) I attempted various medications such since imipramine, xanax, tranxine, plus buspar. These were costly and only gave myself very disruptive and disturbing side-effects with no advantages. In fact, It appeared every medication I attempted only made my signs and symptoms (depression, panic attacks, spaciness, memory lapses, vertigo, exhaustion, and frightening heart symptoms) much worse, especially the particular imipramine, which I acquired to endure two individual trials for 6 days. I eventually became therefore frustrated and upset along with medications, I permanently ended taking them, especially along with having to await therefore many weeks for all of them to “work” only in order to find they have the particular opposite effect! This is certainly NOT to discourage other people who are trying medicines, especially now that generally there are so many a lot more available that act quicker and also have less side-effects.
Forced within my scenario to try something various, I looked into this kind of things as diet, herbal treatments, and alternative medicine. We tried experimenting with diet plan for several years, yet with only limited outcomes that sometimes even made an appearance to backfire like the particular drugs did. However, the particular results were enough in order to convince me to show up even further into the particular subject of nutritional treatment and to verify when such a thing do in fact exist. Simply by the late 80’s We had finally developed a good “Atkins” type diet higher in raw fruit/vegetable fruit juices, cooked green vegetables, plus complete proteins, such since fish, chicken and body organ meats plus many organic and vitamin supplements. This particular new diet actually made an appearance to keep my melancholy and anxiety under the certain amount of (intermittent) control! As I ongoing throughout the ’90s in order to “tinker” around with our diet, because I understood there had to become something to it, We discovered even more food items that helped and has been able to identify meals that did not. Simply no longer was your thought that one could deal with emotional problems with simply diet a hopeful fable! It was real! This particular bit of encouragement sparked me on with improved thoroughness, fanaticism and excellent zeal.
As time ongoing, the diets I discovered myself on where a lot more and more vegetarian, along with continuing improvement, but right now there was still much area for more improvement. We started drinking loads associated with water between meals rather of snacking, which lead in even more stimulating improvement. I realized munching is at itself the cause of many foods sensitivities, dental problems, plus bad mental, emotional plus physical reactions that would certainly not otherwise take location if all foods consumed in a day had been grouped together in one particular wholesome, complete meal, whilst the remaining day can be spent detoxifying on consuming water.
In 1994, I actually wrote a book regarding an entire yogic program and lifestyle that’s expected to result in happiness, enlightenment and wholeness. Normally, I become extremely addicted with my health plus the things i got and how I got for many, many yrs to come. I may often spend all day time in libraries, behind publications, and so forth (and later the internet) performing intense research on diet plan, nutrition, and neurochemistry. Individuals avoided me because diet plan was all I spoken about and found this very difficult to obtain away from the subject. Careful and limited, clinically guided eating was the saviour and only wish for existence without concern and crippling depression.
On the end of Apr, within the year 2k, I transitioned over in order to an “oval-vegetarian”100% raw foods diet (including raw ovum, bee pollen, nuts, seeds and spiralina, fruits, produce, vegetables, herbs, and therefore forth ) with also more improvement in our overall health and psychological well-being. I have actually since disliked the exercise of cooking (destroying) great food, and eating meats and pasteurized/homogenized dairy items. I still felt stressed and agoraphobic, but almost everything seemed easier to take care of and had much much better luck with meditation plus yoga. Additionally there can be a very significant “spiritual awakening” side to our story, that you may get at the starting of my book at this point online.
In January associated with 2002, I decided in order to begin a website which usually would serve as a good info and research middle to encourage the growth and exchange of brand new ideas associated with conquering all the frustrations, illnesses and other hazards associated with our human condition, plus to overcoming all restrictions and all forms associated with suffering. I am fascinated in alternative, natural, efficient, wholesome ways to conquer anxiety, depression, the ageing process and many a lot more diseases. I have devoted my entire life in order to the elimination of anxiety, depression, ignorance, suffering, isolation, pollution, overpopulation, etc. plus also to the research of certain controversial topics such as: life right after death, astral projection, breatharianism and many more. We am hoping it will certainly be a “light house” to many looking intended for or in need associated with help.
My next large breakthrough arrived with the particular discovery of negatively (charged) ionized (alkalized) “microwater” whilst searching on the web for any good substitute intended for a powerful, but costly antioxidant (Microhydrin) I had been at present experimenting with. In the particular beginning of May, within the year 2002, I actually set up a drinking water ionizer next to our drain and started consuming loads and loads associated with the most delicious drinking water I ever tasted within my life, thinking this was going to assist stop the aging procedure System. Drawing. Bitmap myself feel a little much better. It seemed to perform everything and more. I actually was fascinated in just how this simple machine can turn mere plain touch water into seemingly countless levels of the the majority of useful, valuable, healing, effective, free-radical deactivating and cleansing fluid I ever consumed, actually replacing a couple of of the food plus antioxidants I used in order to need and therefore decreasing my weekly organic plus health food grocery expenses by 50% or a lot more. It enabled me in order to fast for even lengthier periods between meals, providing me even greater health insurance and freedom from fear, depressive disorder and from not getting to complete all those jobs associated with as nicely as its preparation because often. It had already been no problem whatsoever residing on a single dinner a day, because with all the ionized water, that had been all I needed. I actually no more had any kind of more digestive or “allergic” problems and I obtained some weight too designed for the first time inside my life!
Most importantly, adversely ionized water has in fact reduced my anxiety, exhaustion and depression quite considerably, to the level I no lengthier even feel it! Presently there is a scientific description for this: when strained water is charged along with the gloomy of the platinum-coated electrode (cathode) the pH (power of hydrogen) is increased usually through around a pH associated with 6. 5 up in order to 9 or 10. Becoming “microwater” or water that will clumps together in models of 5 molecules every rather than the typical 12 or so drinking water molecules per cluster (as with regular non-ionized water) it can hydrate residing tissue much more completely, and dissolve and transportation nutrients a lot a lot more efficiently than any some other type of water. It very easily crosses the blood-brain hurdle and acts as the buffer for metabolic by-products such as lactic acidity which has been clinically proven to be probably the most likely cause of typical anxiety attacks. In some other words, my brain has been too acidic, and with first, the alkalinity normally found in most raw meals helped to neutralize several of this acidity, generating some improvement. But this particular very alkaline, negatively ionized water, has really assisted. The ionized water mixed with my 100% super-food diet, special adaptogenic herbal treatments, antioxidants, pure moral way of living, etc. all come together in order to turn my depression plus anxiety into just real bliss! All the bodily symptoms, such as quick and skipping heartbeats, and so on. I used to possess, have completely disappeared.
The particular only real draw-back has been having to drink huge amounts of it each day and there were nevertheless other aspects of the health and anxiety that will kept coming back in order to haunt me. As fantastic as ionized water will be and spite of the particular the fact I keep on to this day in order to use ionized water plus never intend to prevent using it, there had been still something more in order to be desired. During the past whenever it seemed to not really act as well since it should, I may either put two ionizers together and double the particular quantity of ionization and add a special natural powder with may actually end up being the most powerful antioxidant ever invented, and certain enough, I might discover it very satisfying. However, the first idea demonstrated to be somewhat uncomfortable putting two units within line with one one more because the quantity associated with water pressure needed in order to run the second device was often higher compared to can be provided simply by the very first, plus the amounts of that will special powder needed, with roughly $200 for four ounces, was too tough to maintain financially.
Just about all this research finally guide me to another excellent breakthrough in more completely understanding my condition plus more direct treatments within 2008: The deep importance of alkalinity, which we realized that everything just about all along was trying in order to lead to increasingly more natural, alkaline-forming diet, antioxidants, tension reducing herbs, algae, plus minerals. Apart from requiring to find treatment regarding other life-long complications this kind of as pyroluria and well known adrenal exhaustion I discovered the particular main underlying condition of most my nervousness had in order to be oversensitivity to acidic dietary and metabolic waste materials which all of the particular antioxidants, ionized water plus raw, alkaline forming meals I was benefiting through all along was normalizing and alleviating. All this particular knowledge and other analysis lead me to the particular conclusion that why not really add large numbers a lot more alkaline-forming minerals like the particular very inexpensive dolomite in order to a ionized water plus coral calcium to our raw food diet absolutely already component of my day-to-day regimen? I tried this particular and found even a lot more astounding results: for instance, the dolomite mixed together with my ionized drinking water appeared to double, three-way, even quadruple its beneficent effects just as in the event that I had not just run tap water by means of two ionizers, but furthermore just as if We had added the exact same amount of dolomite because Microhydrin, however dolomite, the very inexpensive, widely offered, pure white mineral natural powder, is many, many moments less expensive and supplied much needed calcium plus magnesium in the correct proportions which are 2 of the same alkalizing electrolytes present in ionized water! The other 3 electrolytes are potassium, salt, and chlorine. I will certainly now be adding a few potassium to this combination along with a touch of sea salt in order to complete the electrolyte stability and see if any longer improvements take place.
Everybody’s situation is unique, therefore I can’t guarantee the particular same improvements I take pleasure in from the 100% super-food diet, herbs, supplements, alkaline minerals, and antioxidant drinking water, etc. Also, my tale and physiological explanations designed for my recovery are a lot more complicated than the particular things i can compose down within the restricted space I am permitted here. What I understand for sure, nevertheless, can be it is possible in order to benefit tremendously from ionized water, super-food diets, plus uncooked, mainly alkaline-forming, entire vegetarian food with a good adequate way to obtain complete proteins. I have found within my opinion, correct dietary therapy is necessary in order to healing regardless of exactly what condition one could be struggling from.
More information plus videos related to this particular article are available right here:
Russell Symonds (Shaktivirya) has dedicated his existence to finding wholeness plus it is living the particular “wholeness” lifestyle. His internet site, Science of Wholeness can be a spiritual and dietary information and research middle dedicated to helping a person find your keys in order to wholeness (everlasting joy, like, bliss, rejuvenation, and a lot, much more). Wholeness may be many things excellent website not only talks about all of the different aspects of wholeness but also all of the different methods toward wholeness. There will be absolutely no greater point of beauty, value plus joy as wholeness!
The particular rest of his initial articles and his totally free online book, Science associated with Wholeness I & II are available here:

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